quality time

I have always enjoyed quiet times, and I wholeheartedly believe that they are critical to deepening my relationship with God. Unfortunately over the last few months there has always seemed to be something happening that hindered me finding a consistent time with the Lord. I was spending time with the other fellows in Bible study several mornings a week, attending church every Sunday, leading a campaigners group for Young Life, taking a seminary class, and always talking ABOUT God… but rarely talking TO Him. Of course I found tons of legitimate excuses as to why I wasn’t having time with the Lord, and they basically all boiled down to not having enough time. But the thing about time is that we all have the same amount of it; we choose how our own time is spent. I was simply not choosing to spend any of mine alone with the Lord.

Campaigners girls at Panera

         Checking people in at the
"Pay it Forward" dinner

Early morning discipleship in my work scrubs : ) 

 Over Christmas break the fellows were asked to read Running on Empty       (by Fil Anderson). Two things about this book grabbed my attention:

1. The subtitle to the book is “Contemplative Spirituality for Overachievers” 

2. The picture on the front looks like an athlete trying to catch their breath after a long run/workout. 

I identified with both of these things and was quickly captivated by Fil’s struggle with finding time for God in the midst of his ministry-filled life.

One of the quotes that resonated with me the most was from page 23 when he was reflecting on a few months of vacation during which he intended to spend a lot of the time with the Lord… but didn’t.

“The problem was not my lack of time; it was my lack of joyful, enthusiastic delight in God, my lack of deep affection directed toward Him at every hour of the day. It seems to be a fact of life that when we’re left with a choice, we choose to do the things that matter to us most.”

BOOM. CONVICTION. When I read that, I felt the Lord tug at my heart and let me know that I was in that same boat. I have not been choosing the Lord. I have not been taking my delight in Him. But I want to. I want Him to be the thing that truly matters to me most.

I have decided to take Fil’s advice and prioritize prayer and solitude for the next couple of months. I love spending quality time with people, it is one of the things that I value most in relationships, and I want to take delight in my quality time with the Lord. I want to spend time getting to know His heart better so that He can shape mine to be more like it.