It’s hard to believe how much my life has changed since my
last post.
Obviously the Fellows has ended, the most bittersweet of
endings. But being the amazingly selfless women that they are, the Fellows
girls helped me move to Nashville! They are unbelievable and I miss them
everyday.
The reason they were moving me to Nashville was because I
started a PA (Physician Assistant) program at Trevecca University because my
boyfriend’s job was not allowing him to move, but I could go to school
anywhere. This is a pretty big deal to me because I never in a million year
thought I would completely pick up my life and change everything for a boy that
I was not married/engaged to. But I just felt a peace about everything, and got
unwavering support so I swallowed my pride and moved to Nashville.
And then… another little something that happened… Andrew
proposed on Mother’s Day… and then got married August 23rd (3.5 months later)… which I know sounds
crazy. And it was crazy, especially considering that I am a completely 100%
full-time student with no time to exercise or keep up with friends, much less
plan a wedding.
Which is what really brings me to the point of this blog
post. Andrew and I have been blessed beyond measure over the last 8 months. It
is difficult to even put into word the amount of gratitude I have for our
parents, families,
and friends for the support, love, and generosity they have showered on us over the past 7 months. Before we were even engaged, my entire family supported me in my move to Nashville, which may not seem like a big deal but my ENTIRE family lives in North Carolina. We are extremely close, so when I had the chance to go to Wake Forest’s PA program, it just seemed like a no brainer that I would go there. It was truly one of the hardest decisions of my life to leave Winston Salem and follow my heart to Nashville, and I could not have done it without the support of my family.
And then there’s the wedding. I kid you not, I planned/was a
part of maybe 15% of my wedding… and that’s generous. My mom, dad, and sister
went above and beyond to make our wedding day the perfect day. They sat through
endless meetings, scrambled to try to pull everything together in 3 months, and
did it all without ever grumbling or complaining about a single thing. The day
was perfect, and I would not change a thing.
These are only a little snippet of the blessing that I’ve
had washed over me since starting PA school in May. I have reflected on all the
ways people have sacrificed for me and loved me beyond reason, and I find
myself paralyzed by the overwhelming love that I have been shown. I think to
myself “how could I ever pay all these
people back?” “how will it be possible for me to ever do as much for them as
they have done for me?”.
In those moments, I have consistently felt God pull on my
heart and say: "YOU CAN'T!" “It was Me, I did that, I gave you those gifts, I have given you every gift and you can never do anything to deserve it or pay it back”. Takes my breath away.
God used my wedding/my current life of only receiving and
hardly ever giving to reveal a tiny glimpse of His love for me. I look at
everything my parents have done and sacrificed for me, I mean they have
literally given me my entire life, and because they are living breathing beings
I can recognize their gifts and acknowledge how amazing they are. But God has
blessed me with these amazing parents to point me to the endless, boundless,
unwavering, gracious love that He offers me every single day of my life no
matter how little I deserve it. I look at my parents’ sacrificial love and feel
overwhelmed, but then God opens my eyes to how their love is simply a little
tiny fragment of Him, and I fall to my knees.
Mom and Dad, Thank you. Thank you for everything I take for granted and for everything you do that I don't even acknowledge or notice. You are a beautiful picture of sacrificial love, and it is an honor and privilege to be your daughter. I love you.
Dear God thank You for concrete manifestations of your love
when my sinful heart is trying to keep me far from You. Thank You for patiently
pointing me, gently pulling me, and humbly reminding me that all I have and all
I ever will have is from You. I deserve nothing, and yet You gave it all. Open
my eyes to see what you see and live a life that is a response to how You have
transformed me. I love you, Amen.
